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Compassionate Leadership

Such powerful words. I’ve been using them for a lifetime. Turns out, I did not understand the essence of their meaning. And when it comes to building teams and being a good leader, the difference can be substantial.

There are four words that we often use interchangeably: pity, sympathy, empathy and compassion.

When people hurt, we feel for them. That’s a pity. In practical terms, pity is seen as a negative. When we pity ourselves, or have a “pity party,” we’re likely in a place of disempowerment.  When others express pity, it can evoke feelings of superiority, condescension or contempt.

When we acknowledge someone’s pain, we are expressing sympathy. We’re letting them know that we are aware of their situation, commiserating their misfortune. When we express sympathy, it helps us connect with people. It’s important as leaders and colleagues to express sympathy at times of loss or pain. People appreciate it.

To connect with someone during a painful time in their life, we express empathy, which is the capacity to imagine being in someone else’s situation. As president, Bill Clinton famously said, “I feel your pain.” It means, “I’ve been there. I know this place. I can feel it.” As leaders or teammates, we connect more deeply when we’re empathetic. It’s a powerful way to build trust and deepen relationships. And when we express that “we know how you feel” idea, it can backfire. No two individuals share the same experience, no matter how similar the situations might seem. My loss of a loved one is different from yours. And letting people know you’ve felt similar pain is always a good thing.

To connect with people’s pain and help them do and feel better, that’s compassion. It’s the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.

As leaders and teammates—at home and at work—we need to avoid pity, but instead express sympathy, feel empathy and collaborate with compassion. Helping people achieve success—and overcoming obstacles—is true leadership. ♦

Stephen Garber is director of Third Level Ltd. Contact him at 561.752.5505 or sgarber@thirdlevel.com.

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Drew Limsky

Drew Limsky

Editor-in-Chief

BIOGRAPHY

Drew Limsky joined Lifestyle Media Group in August 2020 as Editor-in-Chief of South Florida Business & Wealth. His first issue of SFBW, October 2020, heralded a reimagined structure, with new content categories and a slew of fresh visual themes. “As sort of a cross between Forbes and Robb Report, with a dash of GQ and Vogue,” Limsky says, “SFBW reflects South Florida’s increasingly sophisticated and dynamic business and cultural landscape.”

Limsky, an avid traveler, swimmer and film buff who holds a law degree and Ph.D. from New York University, likes to say, “I’m a doctor, but I can’t operate—except on your brand.” He wrote his dissertation on the nonfiction work of Joan Didion. Prior to that, Limsky received his B.A. in English, summa cum laude, from Emory University and earned his M.A. in literature at American University in connection with a Masters Scholar Award fellowship.

Limsky came to SFBW at the apex of a storied career in journalism and publishing that includes six previous lead editorial roles, including for some of the world’s best-known brands. He served as global editor-in-chief of Lexus magazine, founding editor-in-chief of custom lifestyle magazines for Cadillac and Holland America Line, and was the founding editor-in-chief of Modern Luxury Interiors South Florida. He also was the executive editor for B2B magazines for Acura and Honda Financial Services, and he served as travel editor for Conde Nast. Magazines under Limsky’s editorship have garnered more than 75 industry awards.

He has also written for many of the country’s top newspapers and magazines, including The New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Miami Herald, Boston Globe, USA Today, Worth, Robb Report, Afar, Time Out New York, National Geographic Traveler, Men’s Journal, Ritz-Carlton, Elite Traveler, Florida Design, Metropolis and Architectural Digest Mexico. His other clients have included Four Seasons, Acqualina Resort & Residences, Yahoo!, American Airlines, Wynn, Douglas Elliman and Corcoran. As an adjunct assistant professor, Limsky has taught journalism, film and creative writing at the City University of New York, Pace University, American University and other colleges.